For a while now I’ve had myself believing that anything written here needs to follow some sort of theme, maybe a moral, all tied up at the end and presented as a package, a gift, whole and one piece. But the truth is, sometimes my mind just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes my thoughts aren’t linear — there is no moral, no grand discovery, merely musings, scattered fragments of my days that made me pause. After all, isn’t this how life goes — snippets of laughter and anguish and contemplation and contentment and joy and sadness and fear? They all make us pause.
The truth is, I wish I was someone who could write effortlessly in the full, round beauty of an essay, but essays don’t come naturally to me. It is only later, after I hit publish and reread it sometime later, that I discover the truth of what I was trying to say, and that I could have pushed it further in order to mold it into something worth treasuring. I’m beginning to forgive myself this flaw as a writer/blogger for the most part. Essays are admirable creatures. They give you something to sink your teeth into, something to turn over and examine and contemplate as you load the dishwasher or fold laundry, but I’m learning that every blog post doesn’t have to be an essay. Sometimes a post can be lighter in content. Sometimes the images can take center stage. Sometimes a post can be an excuse to snatch a bit of time in the midst of a crazy day.
So going forward I’m going to honor these moments, whether trivial or grand, not caring so much how it appears to the interwebs. I began this blog for me, a little carved out space for memory keeping, and I need to keep that in mind going forward. I’ve decided to post something every day for the rest of the year. I’ve gone back and forth about this. I’ve tried to talk myself out of it. I’ve thought about not proclaiming it here and just doing it, but I feel like I need to put it in ink here in order to stick to it. (That didn’t work out so well last time, but more on that to come.)
My posts won’t always be meaty. Sometimes (a lot of the time) they will just be moments from my day: something my kids said/did, a photograph, a book review, something I witnessed or read or discovered. If you read this post, you know that I’ve been floundering in this space for some time, not really knowing the direction in which I want to go with this blog. The point of this challenge is to show up every day, and hopefully at some point I’ll discover why I’m here.